remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Randomize
