My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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