so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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