Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
