I wanna bring you to show and tell
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
