she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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