We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize