I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
