Dual....:-)
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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