D3 body, D1 cock
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
