If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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