omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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