Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
