she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
