if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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