don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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