even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
