The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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