just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
