Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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