My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
