who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
