He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
