im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
