If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
