just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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