Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You made out with two different species that night
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
