my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
