Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
