these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
