i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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