My nipple is on Facebook.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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