in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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