Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
