Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We have started to decorate penises.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize