It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Randomize
