Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
