I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
