You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
