hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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