haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
