clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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