we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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