I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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