Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
