Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
