i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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