I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
