So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
