At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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