Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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