Having a random hookup so left but love u
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
