carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
