Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
