Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
