is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
is wine microwaveable?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
