that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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