No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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