no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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