actually, I'm a sock model
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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