K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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