My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize