Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
