sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
