i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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